what happens if a relay initially accepts the request and deletes the note and then my relay sends it back to that relay? does it filter out that note forever or is that not how it works?
I kinda hope not a single relay complies. It's like deleting a "feature" of a note in the first place. If you don't want to take the highest responsibility for your note there is already an app for that, go join the xtwitter thingy ma do.
My firsts notes I believe are lost forever, probably relays went off or they got busy and had to clear space.
Many relays will honoured deletions because there are many good reasons to, others won't.
About fucking time, I find myself deleting notes, primarily because of spelling errors, and I notice them, and I'm like, oh my god, I can't unsee that now. And so I have to fix it.