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I will not date a woman unless she: * Weighs exactly 121.3lbs * Has perfect C cup breasts and nipples that are dark pink NOT BROWN but not too light pink, you know? * Has never shown her breasts to ANYONE * Is an ideal mother. Like, she has to have birthing hips that babies just slide right of with no resistance * Has a tight vagina * Laughs at all of my jokes but never any jokes told by my male friends, or her male co-workers, or her male friends, or male comedians. * Has no male friends * Has never had a conversation with another male * Is willing to fuck me on the first date * Only reads the Bible and Anime * Cries only while Jordan Peterson is crying I am now taking applications.

Replies (102)

I haven't seen anything laser's posted in weeks, it's just been based off what I used to see from his notes before I muted him, plus secondhand details from others. I know exactly who and what he is. He unmuted me to dig this post up 6 days after I posted it and comment on it though... I guess to prove how little he cares? He also shoves stuff up his butt. And you, sir, are his #1 Simp. Congratulations.