1776

1776's avatar
1776
npub1e7dj...fw7d
Ok. I’ve been totally caught up on market research projects, project file housekeeping, new bids, job planning, invoicing, receivables, and 2026 rate sheet adjustments for days. Just waiting out the clock to escape my cell. Time to lay a little story on you about how easy it is to get yourself into hot water in today’s overly connected world. I apologize it’s a little long, but holds a good lesson and may allow some laughs at my expense. So first we have to rewind to 2003 when I first met my wife. We had been seeing each other for only about two weeks, but I was already getting a strong feeling that she was “the one”. I had been through a horrific first marriage 12 years earlier that ended in revelations of extreme, “boil-your-rabbit” type infidelity, another very significant three year common law relationship with a girl I absolutely adored and planned to marry, and then six years of intentional bachelorhood, during which time I intentionally avoided romantic involvements of any kind. This new budding relationship with my (now) wife of 22 years was so refreshing, after having withdrawn from anything more than the occasional fun date for half a decade. I could tell that she was a really good person right from the get go. And my type? Forget about it…fit, strawberry blonde, green eyes, 8 years younger than me, employed, and a Christian. Yowsa. I had been hoping to meet her for at least six months, but never wanted to ask her out at her workplace like a hundred other retards that no doubt had. When we finally did end up crossing paths out in the world, I did not let the opportunity pass me by. I got off work on that spring Friday afternoon, and drove to my new love’s place, excited to spend time with her and maybe go for a hike and make dinner afterwards. She was living in the same row housing complex that my sister and my niece and nephew were living in, so I wasn’t surprised to see my 8 year old niece running up to see me. I was surprised however at what came out of her mouth. She said, “Uncle, Uncle! Your girlfriend _____ called my Mom and left her phone number. She wants you to call her. I let Auntie (my new girlfriend) know too!” My niece and nephew already liked my new girlfriend enough that they were calling her Auntie. The blood drained from my face. I parked and walked up the stairs to my new love’s door, dreading the impact this “blast from the past” attempt at reconnecting would have on our budding relationship. And wanting to strangle my niece for mentioning it to her lol. My (now) wife opens the door. Her expression was blank, rather than filled with the warmth I had been greeted with only the evening before. A sub zero gust of air enveloped me. Aw shit. I came in. So instantly she pipes up, “So what is former Ms. Right wanting to talk about, huh?”. I could tell in the days leading up to this that our new relationship was going very well, and that we both REALLY liked each another. I was distressed that the current situation could derail things, and I said “I have absolutely no idea. This is so out of the blue, and I haven’t even spoken to her in 6 years. I’m not even going to call her.” Well, that wasn’t going to fly. Not with this redheaded firecracker. Not only did she want me to call my ex back, but she wanted to be there when I did. If she was going to give even one more iota of her heart to me and let me into her- and her three year old daughter’s lives, she wanted to know that this was a clean slate. That evening we went down to the beach for a walk and my wife says “OK, can you call her, PLEASE! This is driving me crazy!” The situation got resolved within the next hour, but not without my wife hearing parts of the conversation that damaged her brain forever. So it turns out the whole reason that my ex wanted to talk to me, was to apologize for the way she had ended things after us being together for three years and being very close to an engagement. However, in the course of the conversation, and in full earshot of my wife, my ex said “Yeah I was looking through the personals in the paper where you are living now, and thought about you when one of the SWM seeking SWF posts mentioned being “into extreme sports” and claiming to be “a devil in the bedroom”. I thought maybe it was you that posted it, because of that tattoo on your ass”. Lol. I’ve never posted a personals ad in my life. My wife nearly fell over, and I have not heard the end of it in nearly 23 years. In some ways, serves her right for wanting to snoop on the conversation. But this poor sap here is the one that has been the “butt” of it all this time lol. Sorry for the long background, but it was important. Fast forward 22 years. Another child between us who’d recently turned 19. One already moved out on her own a few years earlier at the same age. A ten year vow renewal on a beautiful beach, many family trips, lots of good years and tough years alike, all among our memories. In that time I’ve never had a social media account of any kind aside from a brief stint on FakeBook around 2006 and a nym on Twatter a few years back when I latched on to Bitcoin. As part of my managerial role at the company I work for, I reluctantly allowed my face and my name to be posted on our corporate website. It’s literally the only image of me that exists online. And that’s all it took about a year and a half ago to plunge me once again into the shit with my beloved. When a new customer reaches out to us online via the contact form on our website, an estimate request email is generated. That email goes to three people; me, our GM and our president. That way, nothing ever falls between the cracks. Imagine my horror when I am driving around doing sales calls one afternoon, and this estimate request comes through from someone with my now nearly 30 year ex’s name, looking for ME, because she had been “sleuthing around on the interwebs”, and came across my name and picture on our website. From all the way on the other side of the world in Australia. Saying that she was moving back to Canada. My mind was racing. So, considering the history of our former relationship and the effect that this girl’s brief contact with me near the beginning of my current life-long relationship had, I thought: “Ok I’m not touching this with a ten foot pole”. Then I realized, “Shit, this email just went to our GM and the president.” “Those bastards are gonna wait till my wife and I are at the Christmas party and let this story slip to my wife just to make my life hell.” Confirming my fear, as soon as I got back to the office, both of them were ribbing the shit out of me that my ex had reached out via our company website. They were like “Holy shit dude you must have really rocked her world eh?” I thought “OMG I have to head this off at the pass or it’s going to bite me. Hard.” Yeah, well it bit me anyway. I figured it’d be better being 100% up front, rather than trying to keep a lid on it and look like I was being sneaky later. Besides, I didn’t need the GM and our president having that kind of leverage on me. I shared the email with my wife that evening. It resulted in about three months of turbulence and required repeated assurances to my wife of my commitment to her. It didn’t help that my ex had expressed she was moving back home to Canada within a couple hours of where we live. Everything almost escalated when my wife reached out to my ex on FakeBook. My ex got the hint. Wife reassured. Disaster averted. The point of this long winded story is this. The internet is great for making connections. Just don’t be surprised if you get a few dots connected that you wish hadn’t been. #grownostr