Nicholas Sollazzo

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Nicholas Sollazzo
🛡️ nick@nsollazzo.com
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🚨 BREAKING NEWS: BITCOIN BOARD SLASHES PRICES IN EPIC FLASH SALE! 🚨 In a jaw-dropping move that’s shaking the crypto world, the totally real Bitcoin Board has announced a TEMPORARY PRICE REDUCTION—slashing Bitcoin’s price by a whopping 20% OFF! That’s right, folks—roughly $21,000 off the all-time high as of this moment. The news dropped via a highly official (and definitely not made-up) press release on the Bitcoin Board’s social media. Bitcoin fans lost their minds! Smart investors are stacking sats faster than you can say "to the moon," while the less-savvy are panic-Googling, “Is Bitcoin a publicly traded company now?” after reading this post. Satoshi Nakamoto, Bitcoin’s mysterious President and CEO (currently on sabbatical in an undisclosed volcano lair), has stayed silent amidst the chaos. Sources close to the Board say he’s too busy signing off on the next batch of limited-edition Bitcoins to comment. Why the Sale? Why Now? Insiders speculate this discount is a bold strategy to boost “widespread adoption”—or maybe just to mess with the HODLers who’ve been chanting “buy the dip” since 2017. Meanwhile, whales are circling like it’s Shark Week, ready to gobble up cheap sats before the price inevitably rockets back up. Act Fast! This once-in-a-lifetime deal won’t last forever—or at least until the market decides otherwise. So grab your wallets, dust off your private keys, and get in on the action before the Bitcoin Board changes its mind! Is this the dip of your dreams or a trap set by the ghost of Satoshi himself? Only time—and the charts—will tell. Disclaimer: The Bitcoin Board is not a real thing. Bitcoin remains gloriously decentralized. Please don’t email me asking for the sale coupon code, just buy more bitcoins! image
🚨 MICROSTRATEGY DROPS THE "MICRO," GOES FULL "STRATEGY"—AND BITCOIN MicroStrategy is now Strategy, because who needs "Micro" when you're making macro Bitcoin moves? The new logo features a stylized “B” for Bitcoin, and the brand’s primary color is now orange—symbolizing energy, intelligence, and of course, Bitcoin. This rebrand isn't just a name change; it's a statement. Strategy is all in on being the world's largest Bitcoin treasury company. Founder @Michael Saylor couldn't have said it better: "Strategy is one of the most powerful and positive words in the human language. It represents a simplification of our company name to its most important, strategic core." It's like they've evolved from a software company to the Bitcoin strategy powerhouse. And with this bold move, they're betting big on Bitcoin and AI being the transformative technologies of our time. Get ready, folks, Strategy is here to play the long game in #Bitcoin . Press Release 👉 https://www.strategy.com/press/microstrategy-is-now-strategy_02-05-2025 #MSTR image