DOW

Yo, yo, this one's for the pipes, the sinks, the drains Captain Dow in the kitchen, goin' insane Stuck like Jack Sparrow, no wind, no wave Called the legend, Captain Fuller to come save the day! I'm Captain Dow, standin' at the sink like "Arrr!" Water sittin' still, ain't goin' far Like Jack on his raft in the dead calm sea No breeze, no flow, just greasy debris Dishes pilin' up, smell gettin' rank This drain got me cursed like the Black Pearl sank So I hit the bat-phone, called the man with the wrench Captain Fuller, the plumber, comin' off the bench He tall, he fit, black uniform clean Plungers and snakes, he the drain marine Down in the basement, reroutin' the line Connectin' my pipe to a bigger mainline I’m floatin' up top, yellin' "Fuller, you there?!" Water so still, like the ocean don't care Then he surfaces—boom!—like a kraken from deep Wipes his brow, big grin, says "It's done, Cap, sleep!" And the water starts movin', slow at first, then WHOOSH Whirlpool in the sink, goin' swoosh-swoosh-swoosh! Ya hoo! Ya hoo! We ridin' the drain Down the Black Pearl pipe in the pourin' rain Hold on tight, laughin' wild and free Best damn uncloggin' in history! Now the sink turnin' into World's End maelstrom Water spinnin' fast like a pirate ship gone Me and Fuller on deck, imaginary sails Laughin' like mad as we ride these waves Around and around, down the porcelain hole Screamin' "Ya hoo!" losin' all control Grease, food, old soap—everything flyin' Unbelievable drainin', man, nobody lyin'! Fuller grab the wheel, I grab the rail We spinnin' so fast, ship start to sail Down the giant whirlpool, just like the movie But this time we joyful, ain't scared, ain't moody Bottles and crumbs doin' barrel rolls Water roarin' loud like a thousand souls Ya hoo! Ya hoo! We ridin' the drain Captain Dow and Fuller, feelin' no pain Holdin' on tight, laughin' straight from the gut Kitchen sink clear—man, what a rush! Ya hoo! Ya hoo! Best ride in town Fuller unclogged it, took the clog straight down! Yo, Fuller, my man, you a legend, no cap Turned my dead sink into a Pirates ride, straight facts You rerouted them pipes like a master at sea Saved this captain's kitchen, now the water runs free We hit the bottom—splash!—everything gone Sink shiny and clean like the break of dawn I salute Captain Fuller, the king of the plunge Man fixed my drain with pure plumber lunge No more still water, no more despair Just a smooth-flowin' pipe and fresh kitchen air So raise up your plunger if you feelin' this tale When your sink get cursed, who you gonna call? Captain Fuller on deck, he will never fail Turn your clog into glory, full speed, all sail! Ya hoo! Ya hoo! The drain is alive Dow and Fuller forever on this epic ride From still dead sea to the wildest swirl Best plumber in the seven seas—my man saved the world! Ya hooo… ya hooo… sink clear, we out!