im having a party, a crowd is here all talking about “white people”, my girlfriend is here with her friends, this just keeps happening - im out, ill go somewhere else, its cool. a lot of guys couldn’t do that. being self aware and going through that social transition was bizarre.
aside from the psychic damage of being someone slightly too obsessed with information (in general) and living around this, i emerged well as i left my scene and “job field” behind to do my own thing. i just couldn’t take being around those people, the asymmetry was too high.
it should be stupidly obvious to anyone reading this but this is why a lot of “right wing” stuff exists. not in the sense people usually mean, like its a reaction and an adopted position. that term is relative. at that time, just saying, “could you… not say that?” marked you.
people also had no metacognition about it. i had friends who would go to a concert and come back and say, “yeah, it was cool but everyone was white”. i was in a punk band. if you asked, “why are you saying that? i’ve never heard you say that” they had no idea. just took it on.
you’d be working at a company and there would be a job opening and the hiring manager would straight up tell you they weren’t hiring white guys, and if you told people about this on the outside they would get mad at you. like, personally mad at you. so many stories like this.
everyone on twitter is posting and talking about this now but if you talked about it while it was happening you were an absolute freak and people would go out of their way to ruin your life in any way possible
worst part of having been a cashier is that now, sometimes, while shopping, you are the idiot customer. there is nothing you can do about it. the tables have turned. im staring at a screen that says “push green button” - yet, i am doing nothing. why? no one knows. i am a customer
i think if there is more than around fifty people at a potluck the host should simply assemble a large soup cauldron over a pit, and everyone can just throw things into it. perhaps there could also be a separate pit for things that are, by nature, cold. i will tend the cold pit.
