[It's been a while. Huh? Your physiological unicorn here dropping an objective summary of the last 6 months. This will be added to Redacted Science]
Redacted Science – Six Month Observational Record 20260108
A Field Ledger without Interpretation
This chapter consolidates approximately six months of observational records, spanning mid to late 2025 through early 2026, drawn from three parallel chat threads that were maintained contemporaneously during that period. The consolidation is performed as an act of record integrity rather than narrative synthesis, with the intent of preserving continuity, reducing fragmentation, and presenting a coherent field ledger of lived experience over time. The scope of this chapter is strictly observational: it introduces no new hypotheses, makes no retrospective diagnostic claims, and offers no predictive assertions. Its function is to document what was experienced, what persisted, what fluctuated, and what did not occur, without reinterpretation or closure. Positioned within Redacted Science, this section serves as a status record rather than a conclusion—an anchored snapshot of function, symptoms, and daily life across a defined interval, preserved for accuracy rather than meaning.
Baseline at the Start of the Period
At the beginning of the six-month interval covered in this chapter, baseline function was established shortly after a visit to the Cleveland Clinic, which occurred during a period when the ability to eat or drink without pain had been significantly compromised. In the weeks leading up to that visit, ingestion of food or fluids reliably provoked discomfort, contributing to the belief that functional decline might be nearing a terminal phase. Following the visit, eating and drinking gradually returned to a tolerable and then largely normal pattern. No definitive explanation accompanied this change, and no sense of resolution followed. Instead, the period opened with a renewed commitment to live and behave as normally as possible, despite ongoing symptoms and uncertainty, and with the assumption that decline could resume at any time.
At this baseline, a stable daily regimen was already in place and remained largely unchanged throughout the period: vitamin D supplementation; approximately 35 mg of fluconazole administered daily using a psyllium-based binding agent; pantoprazole; and a partial dose of a Stacker 2 energy shot used primarily as a B12 source. This regimen is noted here solely to establish context and continuity, not as an intervention under evaluation.
During this same interval, work status transitioned from leave back to full-time employment. I had been away from work from June 9, 2025 through July 28, 2025, a period initially set aside for writing Redacted Science, but which expanded to include the Cleveland Clinic appointment and the need to cope with significant physical and mental strain. Upon returning to work on July 28, 2025, I resumed full-time professional duties without accommodation or disclosure, establishing an important functional reference point for the observations that follow. The baseline for this chapter therefore begins not during acute crisis, but at the moment normal professional activity was deliberately re-entered despite uncertainty regarding durability.
Also relevant to the establishment of baseline were venous blood gas (VBG) results obtained during this period, which demonstrated clear physiological deviation from normal reference values. While these findings did not constitute direct proof of the specific mechanisms proposed elsewhere in Redacted Science, they provided objective confirmation that my condition was not psychosomatic, imagined, or within ordinary variation. That confirmation materially altered my posture toward further medical consultation. Having established that my physiology was demonstrably abnormal, and in the absence of actionable or explanatory pathways offered by clinical engagement, I no longer felt compelled to seek additional medical validation. This decision is recorded here not as a conclusion, but as a contextual factor that shaped the observational stance and self-directed continuity of the months that followed.
Functional Status at Baseline
At the outset of this period, functional capacity was sufficient to support full-time professional work, independent living, and autonomous decision-making, despite the presence of ongoing physical limitations. Cognitive clarity was intact, with preserved ability to reason, plan, write, and engage with complex technical and abstract material. Daily activities were performed without assistance, including personal care, household tasks, and routine mobility, though pacing and conscious energy management were required. Physical endurance was reduced relative to historical norms, particularly with respect to prolonged standing or walking, but functional independence was maintained through adaptation rather than avoidance. This baseline reflects neither wellness nor acute incapacity, but a stable operating state in which normal responsibilities were deliberately resumed and sustained in spite of persisting chronic features.
Established Chronic Features at Baseline
Several chronic features were already established and considered stable at the start of this observational period. These included longstanding leg pain and weakness, accompanied by an altered gait adopted to reduce muscle strain and fatigue; pressure-sensitive skin and underlying tissue, particularly in response to prolonged localized contact; and persistent digestive irregularity without fixed pattern or clear triggers. These features were familiar, managed through adaptation rather than intervention, and did not represent new developments during the interval documented here. Their presence is noted to distinguish pre-existing conditions from subsequent changes and to provide context for observations that follow.
Abdominal Pain
Abdominal pain during the observed period was intermittent and variable in both location and intensity, with intervals of complete absence followed by recurrence. While the pain could at times appear unpredictable or without clear pattern, there were periods when day-to-day changes suggested progression, particularly with respect to location. During these intervals, there was a heightened awareness of where pain was situated and how it differed qualitatively from prior episodes. This level of spatial and descriptive awareness exceeded what is typical for nonspecific abdominal discomfort and aligned with close internal monitoring rather than alarm. These perceived patterns were not continuous and did not persist uniformly across the six months, but their episodic presence is noted here to distinguish true randomness from periods of internally coherent change.
Leg Pain and Weakness
Leg pain and weakness were persistent throughout the observed period and represented the most consistent limitation on physical function. The pain was characterized by aching, fatigue, and reduced load tolerance, exacerbated by prolonged standing or walking and managed through pacing and gait modification. Weakness was sufficiently pronounced that routine movements were adapted to minimize strain; for example, entering a vehicle or getting into bed often involved lifting the inside leg manually rather than relying on unaided motion, not because unaided movement was impossible, but because it was more painful. Visible muscle mass in the legs had diminished over time, consistent with atrophy, though this was partially obscured by increased skin thickness. The skin of the thighs remained firm and tight rather than loose, allowing a substantial pinch of dense tissue despite reduced underlying muscle bulk. These features were longstanding, continuously present, and functionally managed rather than episodic or fluctuating.
Localized and Episodic Upper-Body Pain
Two brief upper-body pain events were observed during the period and are noted together due to their limited duration and self-resolving nature. The first was a short-lived recurrence of upper limb pain that had previously resolved months earlier. This reappearance persisted for several days and somewhat limited use of my left arm, similar in character to the prolonged period of arm pain experienced a couple of years earlier. It was not associated with new strain or exertional triggers and resolved without intervention. Subsequently, there was an episode of intermittent pain located beneath the right shoulder blade. This pain was deep and piercing in character, yet highly focal - needlepoint in its location - and occurred over approximately three days. It was entirely new in quality relative to my lifetime experience and resolved spontaneously. Both events were discrete, temporally bounded, and did not alter overall functional status, and are recorded here as episodic occurrences rather than progressive developments.
Digestive Function
Digestive function during the six-month period was marked by increasing variability rather than fixed dysfunction. Early in the interval, bowel movements were often long and thin in form, later giving way to a wider range of consistency and presentation, sometimes changing from day to day. Despite this variability, output was continuous, and several negative findings remained consistent throughout: there was no blood in the stool, no sustained obstruction, and no complete cessation of bowel function. Appetite remained persistently strong regardless of discomfort, and I was able to eat normally for extended periods, including numerous late-night chip binges, even when digestive symptoms were present. These features distinguished fluctuation from failure and were tracked qualitatively rather than by frequency or volume.
A discrete and notable event occurred in conjunction with minimal alcohol intake, after which vomiting ensued. This episode was distinct from any prior lifetime experience of emesis: it occurred without preceding nausea of typical character (including absence of sweating) and consisted solely of solid gastric contents, without bile, green coloration, or watery fluid. In parallel, alcohol tolerance appeared to decrease abruptly, with intoxication occurring after a single drink—a quantity previously well tolerated. In response, further alcohol use was suspended as a precautionary measure. No subsequent retesting occurred during the remainder of the observed period, and no additional vomiting episodes were recorded.
Urinalysis Findings During the Period
Urinalysis findings during the observed period demonstrated internal variability rather than a stable pattern. Early in the broader timeline, urine specific gravity had fallen to just over 1.000, a finding that stood out for its extremity. In contrast, later observations documented a return to very high specific gravity following a period of lower readings. This reversal was noted as unexpected relative to prior patterns. Despite the elevated specific gravity, urine was explicitly described as not salty, in contrast to earlier years when high specific gravity had reliably coincided with pronounced saltiness.
Additional findings included the presence of trace ketones, noted contemporaneously with a subjective sense of increased warmth compared to prior baseline. Slight leukocytes were present without accompanying symptoms suggestive of infection. Uric acid was also noted, without associated pain or acute renal symptoms. Urine color during this period was not dark, tea-colored, or bloody. These findings were recorded as observational data points only and did not prompt clinical intervention during the interval covered.
In addition to the findings noted above, slight elevations of urobilinogen and bilirubin were intermittently present on urine dip testing during this period. These findings were observed repeatedly over several months rather than appearing as isolated events. They were not accompanied by darkened urine, jaundice, abdominal pain, or other acute symptoms, and therefore did not prompt reporting or clinical follow-up during the interval. As with other urinalysis observations in this chapter, these values are recorded here solely as part of the cumulative observational record.
Weight and Fluid Changes
Body weight during the observed period was characterized by relative stability punctuated by abrupt short-term shifts. Weight frequently plateaued at specific values (approximately 162 lb and later around 160 lb), with intermittent changes of 1–3 pounds occurring within 24–48 hours without corresponding changes in intake or activity. These shifts were experienced as fluid-related rather than reflective of tissue gain or loss. Sensitivity to fluid balance remained pronounced, though without overt peripheral edema.
A sustained change in thermal experience also occurred during this period. Longstanding cold intolerance resolved abruptly during an episode of prolonged wakefulness while traveling for a family wedding, when prescribed sleep medication was unavailable. At a distinct point that night, a sudden onset of warmth replaced prior chill sensitivity. Following this event, the tendency to feel cold at normal ambient temperatures did not return, and warmth was experienced at most times rather than intermittently. This shift persisted through the remainder of the observational window and was noted as a durable change rather than a transient fluctuation.
Skin and Tissue Sensitivity
Skin and underlying tissue sensitivity during the observed period was primarily pressure-related rather than spontaneous. Immediate sensitivity occurred with direct pressure such as poking, gripping, or localized weight-bearing, producing a sensation akin to a deep bruise during pressure and persisting briefly afterward. Tolerance for such contact was reduced compared to prior baseline, even in the absence of visible injury. On at least one occasion, prolonged localized pressure resulted in redness and stinging that visually resembled superficial scratches despite the skin remaining intact; this presentation was unusual rather than typical. In this instance, discomfort emerged a few hours after pressure exposure rather than immediately, indicating a delayed response. The largest such mark was sensitive to the touch and contact with water. Throughout all episodes, skin integrity was preserved, with no ulceration, open lesions, or breakdown observed. These features required increased positional awareness and adjustment but did not progress to functional loss during the interval documented.
Altered Substance Tolerance
During the observed period, a change in alcohol response was noted, beginning with a single episode in which marked intoxication occurred after my customary one drink, a quantity that had previously produced little to no effect. That episode was accompanied by vomiting, as described earlier. Following this event, alcohol use was largely suspended out of caution. In the final portion of the period, limited retesting occurred using substantially smaller amounts of alcohol; to date, intake below approximately half an ounce of 84-proof spirits has not produced intoxication. Further testing was considered but regarded as inadvisable, and observations remain incomplete at the time of writing.
THC use, by contrast, remained largely consistent throughout the six-month interval. It was used on most nights, with fewer than ten percent of evenings involving abstention. Adjustments were made occasionally in timing or amount based on subjective response, but overall use did not escalate or diminish substantially across the period. THC functioned primarily as a regulatory aid rather than a variable under active evaluation.
Cognitive and Mental State
Throughout the six-month observational period, cognitive function remained consistently intact. I retained the ability to work, reason, plan, write, and engage with complex material, including sustained attention to technical, financial, and abstract subjects. Professional work was performed full time in a remote (work-from-home) setting, which was a significant enabling factor in maintaining productivity and continuity despite physical limitations. Executive function, memory, and orientation were preserved, and no episodes of confusion, disorganization, or cognitive lapse were noted. In addition to primary employment responsibilities, I continued to manage household and family financial obligations, including bills and credit accounts for my residence, a rental property, and my son’s college education, along with general organizational tasks, planning activities, and routine household management. Ongoing learning activities were maintained and used informally as self-monitoring benchmarks for attention, retention, and mental stamina.
Emotionally, mental state was characterized by a persistent existential awareness rooted in uncertainty rather than acute distress. This awareness arose from the absence of a firm or reliable roadmap for the progression of symptoms, combined with a belief—based on accumulated experience—that the ultimate outcome could be sudden rather than gradual. As a result, each passing day tended to be experienced as a discrete existential interval rather than as part of a predictable trajectory. This state imposed a continuous cognitive and emotional weight, requiring active effort to carry, and was subjectively more demanding than many of the physical symptoms observed during the same period. Periods of sadness occurred but were not accompanied by panic, loss of control, or impairment of judgment. Insight and self-awareness remained preserved, allowing this awareness to be acknowledged and contained without disrupting daily function. No dissociative episodes, impulsive behavior, or loss of agency were observed.
Daily Function and Adaptation
Work and Productivity
Daily life during the observed period was structured around maintaining normal professional output despite physical and psychological constraints. Full-time work continued in a remote setting, allowing tasks to be completed without the added physical demands of commuting or prolonged standing. Early-morning work routines were preserved, and fatigue or discomfort was managed privately rather than disclosed. Expectations were adjusted internally—through pacing, scheduling, and prioritization—rather than through withdrawal or reduction of responsibility. Productivity was sustained through consistency rather than intensity.
Mobility and Physical Pacing
Mobility was preserved through deliberate adaptation rather than exertion. Walking and standing were performed as needed but limited in duration to avoid exacerbating leg pain and fatigue. Gait remained consciously altered to reduce muscle strain, and unnecessary standing or repetitive movement was avoided when possible. Activities such as walking the dogs continued at reduced speed and distance, serving both functional and observational purposes. Independence of movement was maintained throughout the period, though always with attention to energy conservation.
Self-Regulation Strategies
Several self-regulatory practices were used to stabilize daily function. Showering functioned as a primary regulatory tool, often providing temporary relief from discomfort or dysregulation. Dietary intake was simplified toward protein-heavy meals to reduce digestive unpredictability while preserving caloric intake. THC use was employed most evenings as a regulatory aid and adjusted as needed based on subjective response. Rest periods were taken without disengaging from daily responsibilities, and adaptation focused on sustaining participation in ordinary life rather than minimizing activity entirely.
Social and Relational Engagement
Social and relational engagement was maintained throughout the observational period and served as an additional functional benchmark. During this interval, I attended three weddings and one funeral—an unplanned symmetry noted here for completeness and mild irony rather than emphasis. Family milestones and gatherings, including Thanksgiving, Christmas, and New Year’s, were also attended and participated in without visible decline or withdrawal. These events required sustained presence, tolerance of variable schedules, and engagement over extended periods, all of which were managed through pacing rather than avoidance.
Parenting responsibilities remained active and forward-looking. Conversations with my son addressed adulthood, relationships, financial responsibility, and future planning, including matters related to education and independence. Trust in his judgment and development was emphasized, and practical support—both logistical and emotional—continued without interruption. These interactions reflected ordinary parental engagement rather than legacy framing.
Within marriage, increased transparency did not occur gradually but emerged from necessity. As daily life became more difficult to manage internally, efforts to shield my wife from the mental burden proved unsustainable and began to affect her as well. A recent breakthrough occurred in a shared social setting, where I acknowledged the extent to which I had allowed the mental weight of uncertainty to accumulate and influence my internal state. This acknowledgment was met with full support rather than concern or alarm, and it marked a shift toward shared awareness without crisis orientation.
Community engagement persisted throughout the period. Karaoke functioned as a recurring social and functional reference point, requiring public presence, vocal endurance, and sustained interaction. Participation remained possible across the interval and provided an external confirmation of continuity. No progressive social withdrawal or disengagement was observed during the period documented.
Psychological Posture Toward Mortality
Throughout the observational period, there was no reliance on fixed timelines, countdowns, or anticipated dates. One date developed - my son’s last final. Since then, the operative frame has shifted to a daily one. The working definition of success became simple continuation: if tomorrow is reached, that day is the objective. This posture eliminated the need to speculate about endpoints or trajectories and replaced it with a narrow, repeatable target. Awareness of mortality remained present, but it did not manifest as urgency to predict or resolve outcomes. Instead, it reinforced a commitment to proceed without surrendering agency, measuring continuity one day at a time. No effort was made to determine when an end might occur, and only one date was ever a goal date. Other dates were simply encountered and lived.
Accomplishments During the Period
Despite ongoing physical limitations and psychological load, a range of ordinary but substantive responsibilities were maintained throughout the six-month interval. Full-time professional employment was sustained without reduction in role or scope. The long-term documentation project that underpins Redacted Science continued to advance, with multiple records written, consolidated, and archived across platforms. Family responsibilities were met consistently, including active support of my son’s education and planning, and continued management of household and extended financial obligations.
Participation in family traditions and social commitments was preserved, including attendance at significant events and gatherings. Routine household tasks, planning activities, and organizational work were completed as required. Daily life proceeded with continuity rather than contraction, and responsibilities were met through pacing and adaptation rather than deferral. These accomplishments are recorded not as markers of resilience or achievement, but as evidence of sustained function under persistent constraint.
Documentation and Record Integrity
All observations contained in this chapter were recorded contemporaneously and preserved across multiple platforms to ensure continuity and durability of the record. Source material included parallel chat logs, personal notes, and unpublished video recordings, with redundancy maintained to reduce loss or distortion over time. Records were not retroactively edited to impose narrative coherence, and discrepancies or gaps were left intact rather than reconciled. Consistency across time and format emerged through duration rather than revision. Credibility is derived from sustained documentation under ordinary conditions, not from selective reporting or interpretive framing. Observational restraint was maintained as a deliberate methodological choice.
Closing Note
This chapter represents a consolidation rather than a conclusion. It documents a defined interval marked by variability, adaptation, and continuity without attempting to resolve meaning or trajectory. Volatility is acknowledged without being shaped into narrative closure. The record remains open-ended by design, with continued documentation intended as circumstances allow.
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