Its painful when we have relationship and when we don't. We want some perfect situation and keep running towards it like a ghost from one life to another. Relationship itself might be painful as two separate persons( mind) collide

Mind thinks its over n all is so worthless . It doesn't want to live anymore to remove /avoid that cloud of pain/depression/hopelessness . Mind makes the objective n wants to die if it fails . It is like trump sponsoring gaza genocide n wanting nobel prize for ending it. Mind is the cause of all sufferings n excitements. N it wants these constantly n no boredom suffering. Mechanism of mind is robotic 🤖

Solace , permanent solace is found only in God/self realization. Even thought of God is peace giving . That feeling of absolute/God/self is always here and is whole . Our minds want somethings in world to give that permanent peace . We mistake excitement/pleasure probably for happiness n that's not permanent . Joy is in realization of truth.

As a person its v painful to realize u r alone as a person probably wants to be together . Is being together called love ?

I have to accept i am alone in the journey.

Nothing is not for nothing in my opinion . Everything matters . Do good . Don't sell your soul. Whatever you do , my mom says , you do it to your own self ( good or bad ) ! No good will also go waste . It'll elevate you . Nothing goes waste.

Unless I am equanimous about stuff, good and bad will keep happening to keep my identity alive. My identity is all about my interest .