Courage is a skill just any other that we can develop. The more we develop it the more we can expand our lives to what we truly want. The opposite is also true. It's simply a choice we make everyday whether we're aware or not. Courage is what it takes to leave a narcissist and build a life you love!

Most of the things that I talk about is from personal experience or similar personal experience. I definitely learn other things and a lot from clients experience too, but I've been through most of it myself. Be kind to yourself if you feel called out. These are a reminder for me too!

This is perhaps not what you would think of when talking about double standards. It is actually a double standard that we probably don't want to talk about. It's only OK if and when these things are true?! So many of us probably feel called out on this one. I think the most important thing is to be aware that it is a double standard. Not necessarily that we need to judge it one way or another. Although be careful of judging others for something many people do themselves.

It's not easy to not react when they know every single thing they can do to push our buttons. Learning to not react is a process and a practice. We can get better at it. We can also become more stable in our emotions. It's not easy and it takes work, but it’s something anyone can do.

I realize most people are just trying to be helpful when they say, “Just don’t let them get to you”. Most often, it’s just not helpful. When we can do that, we do. The rest of the time the most important thing is to not beat ourselves up for them getting to us. And when we do beat ourselves up for it. To then be kind and have compassion for ourselves for that too!

Relationships are confusing sometimes. If you leave every conversation with someone feeling confused and like you are the only problem, there's probably a bigger problem going on. They may be projecting everything onto you and that's not ok! Own what's yours, not what's theirs. We're never the only problem!

Narcissists blame us for everything, especially when we “piss them off”. Often times this is because we didn’t listen to them in the way they wanted or do exactly what they told us to do in the way they wanted it done. We also end up often apologizing to them for something we don’t owe an apology for. In fact, they usually owe us an apology for the way they acted. It’s completely reasonable to apologize for things we do, not for something they did.

Everything for them and nothing for you. They get to take everything and complain about everything and you'd better not say anything about anything other than how wonderful they are and how lucky you are to have them. This is all a lie and complete BS! We don't have to live with live with or deal with this!

We unfortunately lose too many people through and after toxic relationships. Some are good people who simply don't understand. Some are people unwilling to even have a conversation or gain understanding and simply cut us off. Those people are not worth the attempt at a conversation. They decided without even a word from us. Let them go!

Stop making excuses for red flags. If someone lies, manipulates, or disrespects you, that’s who they are. Hoping for them to change will only prolong your pain. Anyone can change if they actually decide to, but most people won't. Hope often only keeps us stuck in toxic relationships that won't ever change! #grownostr