When grandma lost her feet to diabetes I referred to her as "Lieutenant Gran", but nobody laughed :(

The most dangerous kind of canoes are volcanoes.

Me: "Can I have a turn in the hedge now?" Hedgehog: "No."

You will never be able to snort coke out of a bitcoin Fiat currency wins again

Netflix is coming out with an all female remake of the classic film "12 Angry Men". It's called "12 women".