I think the reason allistic people hate #autistic #RelatableStories is that they are bad at them.
When we do relatable stories, it's to show we have shared experiences, to reassure that we understand what we're being told, and maybe even as a kind of emotional co-regulation. I really find it soothing when I'm upset about something and an autistic friend shares their own similar experience, even if they don't have a solution for me at the end. And sharing a RS can be hard, and can require making yourself vulnerable to disclose things that feel very personal, and even that can be a kindness to show someone you care about them enough to do that for them.
Allistics complain that relatable stories are just us always wanting to make everything about ourselves and monopolize the conversation, or that we're insensitive to what others go through, or that we're oversharing. It seems they think it's always easier to talk about yourself, when for us that may be the hardest thing to talk about. Or they think that sharing a RS is some kind of one-upping competitive thing, or a way to trvialize or dismiss what someone just told you. After some consideration, I have come to believe that's mostly projection, and that for them, that's what they are doing when they do their version of RS. So for them, it really is a rude thing, because it's rude to make everything about yourself or to seem insensitive to someone else's experience.
The #DoubleEmpathyProblem is the bane of my existence. Ironically, it seems autistic people grok the concept quickly and almost intuitively, but allistic people never seem to understand how deep and profound the communication gap really is. But if I could get everyone to understand just one thing about autism, it would be that.
#ActuallyAutistic
