The only part of your reflection that you can lick is your reflection's tongue.

NSFW probably doesn't apply if you work in porn

That thing? Put it Down. Flip it. Reverse it.

Bless you right in the face.

I am the progeny of a long line of genetic mutation combinations, please stop anthropomorphizing me.

Whenever someone posts a reward for finding their lost pet, I have to resist the urge to ask "dead or alive?".

Whenever someone posts a reward for finding their lost pet, I have to resist the urge to ask "dead or alive?".

By the time you read this note, you've already read it.

Everyone knows that one ice cream sandwich is never enough.

if I click on the link at the bottom of your marketing email to remove me from your email list....do not send me an email telling me I've been removed from your email list.