A Throwback Thursday photo but a post that is more reflective of the time of year. I let a birthday slide by without really acknowledging it. This year just feels heavy. Dealing with cataracts I hope to get taken care of early next year, new health issues of Mom's, and a lifetime of anxiety I can never quite seem to cope with.
I had a regular checkup with my doctor yesterday. So much anxiety getting there, sitting in the waiting room... Right now the world is so out of focus that even familiar places are anxiety inducing. So I finally had a long conversation with my doctor about anxiety. I'd mentioned it before but shrugged off meds. If any doctor was going to understand where I was coming from it was this one - he was Mom's doctor longer than he was mine. The first thing he said was "you come by it honestly." Third generation legacy member...
I saw what a difference medication made for my Mom, but I've been reluctant to try it myself. I think I have a deep-seated fear of anything that might alter how I think or feel. I've maybe gotten drunk two or three times in my life. I have never used non-prescription drugs. I'm the most boring person that ever was. The idea of losing control even led me to try surgery on my foot without being anesthetized. So my next year of life I try letting go a little and trying a medicated life...
