I had an intriguing realization the other day. Context: I’m a returning University student who is nearly 40. Digital everything is overwhelming for me even though I love tech for other things in my life outside of studying/learning. Ok, so. I find that I prefer to hand write my notes. It helps slow things down. It provides a drawing board to connect my ideas. I struggle to understand the purpose of tech that converts handwriting to text. Just type it, then? Then, I realized that younger people were not taught to write in the same way people my age and older were. It was our main input, our main source of distilling information. Most younger people have had screens and computers around them (digital text) since they were born. Therefore, converting anything they write by hand to digital format likely feels natural for them. Just an interesting observation I had. Likely fueled by my rigid autistic thinking. Your thoughts are welcome.

So… my final exam is lost. I wrote it at the exam centre in person with disability accommodations last week. I do this for all of my proctored midterms and exams. The testing centre apparently misplaced it. What a massive procedural failure. Grades are due on Monday. I was told not to worry but I’m in PANIC MODE. 🫨 Fuck. I had a 95% going into that exam and worked my ass off studying for it. What the heck. What do I do? Help. 😭

This morning in *I’m so tired of Alberta and its disjointed medical system.* (with humour) So, I’m filling out a form prior to a minor medical test/procedure for a new specialist. The form says at THE VERY TOP: “Ethnicity _____” “What country were you born in?” I’ve seen A LOT of the medical system and I’ve never, ever been asked that before on a medical form. Fuck. Off. Maybe I should fill in the blanks with such words?

People are no less chronically ill or disabled if they do these things: - Are working - Are studying - Are out shopping - Are wearing makeup - Are wearing a nice outfit - Are enjoying hobbies - Are making jokes - Are posting online - Are texting more often - Are smiling and laughing #ChronicIllness #Health #Disabled #Disability

TW: Mental Health and Imposter Syndrome Discussion — I still have really bad impostor syndrome when it comes to having disability accommodations at school. I'm in my 30s, yet... here we are. Didn't get the grade I wanted? My inner voice: “Yeah, too bad. Imagine how bad it could have been without accommodations. You're not good enough.” Sees gaps in my accommodations compared to my needs: “See, you're totally faking it. You're asking too much. You don't need it. You could do all of this without the crutch of accommodations." Worried I won't get accepted into the Honours program: "Yeah, they have requirements that are ableist, I see that, but that just means it wasn't made for people like you. Be happy you're even going to get a degree at all.” Why. Am. I. Like. This. ?!?! Internalized Ableism. Yep. I know. Yet, it persists. #MH #MentalHealth #Academics #Disability #InternalizedAbleism