I can't put dah gridz 🥣 in until i cook 🔥 dah water 💦 cuz dah jeewz 👃🪳 mite stil bee 🐝 around dah kitchen waiton foe free 🆓 foo 🍔 🍟 🥤

Maybe she wun't sum gridz 🥣 😋 dat mite actibate her azz 😷 #nohomo

I new i shulda got her dah one 🕐 wif xtra elements ⚗️ in theah 😬

Diz can ☕ ain't dooin shit 👉 🍵 yet

Wuht peice a shit 👉 🍵 gon trytoo say shit 🍵 tooday 📆 on Christmas 🥳 🥂 🎉 day lemme take a guess 👉👃🐔

So az soon az she swimmon 🌊 😨 🌪️ 🏊 I'ma offer 1 Free 🆓 cup a shit 🍵 toodah first 💳 hungrey jew 👃 whoo can retweet diz message ✉️

I juz herd 🦬 dat dah jeewz don't celebrate Christmas ⛄ dey 👃 🤮 celebrate Shitmas🍵hay dey hungrey

I stil waiton foe deez jeew 👃 roach 🪳 baits too git heah 🏪 🤬 i can't bee 🐝 habon jeewz running around mah kitchen counter tryna steal foo 🍔 🍟 🥤 foedah New 🆕 Year 🕛

I juz got mah can ☕ ahn shit 🍵

Merry Christmas 🎄☃️ too EVERYONE!!!* (*except jeewz)