The Onion on Instagram: "Touting his latest executive order as a historic win for the U.S. economy, President Donald Trump announced Friday that he was mandating a 5,000% increase in all numbers nationwide. “Effective immediately, 100 will now be 5,100 and—I’m reading off the official statistics from my people—500 will be 25,500,” said Trump, speaking from the Oval Office as he told reporters the move would shift decimals “many places” to the right for wages, stock prices, job numbers, gross domestic product, and other vital economic indicators. For more stories that redeem the sorry state of journalism, subscribe now at link in bio."