Trans Femme: The government is trying to kill me.
The Cis: But are they really, thooooo…
Trans Femme: I’m trying to kill the government.
The Cis: TREASON!
I do a thing on fedi where I post:
<sits nearby for company>
It’s my way of letting someone know that I’ve been reading what they are writing, that I would be sitting and listening to them talk. That what they are saying and feeling is valid. I sometimes do this on positive posts (company is good for sharing joy, too!), but mostly when people are expressing pain or frustration or similar.
It’s a way of trying to offer presence without activating the physical metaphor of hugs, which some folks don’t want in moments of intense emotion.
But more than any of those things, it’s how I make space for them and their feelings without changing or defining the mood with my own. I’m trying to make it about them and their feelings.
I often have very strong feelings about what they’ve written. If it is about a complicated situation, the person might have a mixture of positive and negative feelings, and in the moment, they are trying to explore those feelings. If I offered my opinions of, for example, how in-the-wrong someone else was when talking to the author of the post, then the author might feel like they don’t have the emotional space to feel their own feelings. That they must react to me (either by replying or just in their own heads) by refocusing on the complexities of the situation.
I want them to be able to feel how they need to feel right now, and feel a little less alone about it.
That’s why I sit nearby for company.
Okay help me, sapphic fedi. I need a “sapphic dance party spiting fascism” playlist - upbeat, focused on how amazing we are, with a bitter undertaste, like the bite of chocolate, to remind us of what we face.
I’ve got:
Muna “I Know A Place”
Zolita “All Girls Go To Heaven”
FLETCHER “Live Young Die Free”
Janelle Monáe “Cold War”
What should I add?
Okay, when I go to Sapphic Night at the gay bar, why don’t I hear any MUNA? Where’s the FLETCHER? girli? Janelle Monáe? Zolita? Heck, where’s Chappell Roan? WHY ARE WE NOT HOT TO GO!?
