Today, I have left my heart in Gaza and taken my fragile body outside it. For 560 days, I have never stopped and have done over my energy to tell the truth and report our pain from my hometown. The story has come to a temporary end. I never ever imagined I would be at such an impossible decision, to leave my family behind and depart for medical treatment and care. My body, since Israel’s ongoing blockade, has become constantly weaker. And since I haven’t found my medicine either, I was plunged into my guilt zone and decided to go.
With this sentiment comes relentless emotional pain. As a young man, I always dreamed to report on football. I was let down many times, instilled doses of courage into me to overcome the challenges, and fought hard to be that dreamer. But once Israel started its genocide, I put everything aside and picked up my weapon to begin reporting tirelessly hour in and hour out.
Maybe, I haven’t done enough and wish I could continue until every inch is rebuilt, but my health has disappointed me this time. It couldn’t take that much horror and suffering. My braves colleagues have stayed. They’re the best of the world. There was indeed a last drop of blood in my veins, and I didn’t want to spend it nowadays. I desire to recharge, grow stronger, and come back to defend my homeland with aplomb and unmatched love. As I have always promised, I will die for the day Palestine will be free.
My mother, my father, and my brothers and sisters, I have failed you. I miss you and will miss you in every second I will be out from Gaza. Love to you. My heart has remained with you and will never leave you. You’re my light in this whole darkness. That’s why I am shining.
For my friends, it’s all about you. You are the companions of the journey. Even if we bid shot farewells, we will reunite and live together again. I want you to be very strong much more than when we were side by side.
And to all people around the world, your support and love have been my solace and respite during the genocide. I am so grateful to every person of you. And I hope we will all be in a free Palestine soon.
To all of you, I love you. And I have really known the meaning of love from you. You have been the sense of safety inside my heart when I felt afraid under the bombardments.
I will continue conveying the message of my people and share my experiences during the genocide abroad and will never stop telling my people’s stories.
Forgive me, all. My homeland, my heartbeat, please forgive me. I promise I will come back soon to water your soil with my blood. We will be all free. We will sacrifice until the last blood.
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