rapture will be awesome because all the guys who told me “touch grass” are gonna vanish, and i’ll be left alone to caress the scorched remains of turf in perfect silence

The first rule of NDA club is [ REDACTED ]

Conservative values: blame the mother, worship the fetus, legalise the gun, bury the child, blame the mother,

People say "tech moves fast." But if you zoom out, most dev curves take decades. Smartphones are 17 years old and we still haven't figured out more than one day's battery.

they called it trickle-down economics because 'financial waterboarding' didn't poll well with focus groups

When white evangelicals say love thy neighbour they mean their literal next-door neighbour. Who is also a white evangelical.

marjorie taylor greene is proof that if you huff enough gasoline fumes in a home depot parking lot, you too can become a sitting congresswoman

conservatives when you call Kyle Rittenhouse a murderer: “this is cancel culture” conservatives watching jimmy kimmel: “this violates my sacred constitutional right to have my feelings cradled like a sickly lamb”

86 year old senator: “mr. steam, why did you personally assassinate charlie kirk over the wireless” the entire chamber nods gravely

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