Black Friday isn’t a holiday, it’s a heist. A glittery, discount-code-waving distraction where billionaires convince you that buying a $12 toaster you don’t need is a victory. Spoiler: The only people winning are the ones who already have more money than God. Jeff Bezos doesn’t need your $12. But the local bookstore? Your favorite indie artist? The weird little shop down the street that sells handmade candles that smell like a vacation in Scandinavia? They do.

Meta has banned us from their monetization program for a comic where our Grim Reaper reassures a kid they won't die until they're very old, and the kid – processing this information with the flawless logic of someone whose prefrontal cortex is yet to develop – leaps off and shouts "Awesome! I'm gonna try heroin!"

Whoops